October Exists, So Let’s Make the Most of It

Posted in entertainment, life, music with tags , , , , , on October 1, 2008 by Harfax Johnson

It’s October.

I’m happy for several reasons.  One, Halloween is like the best day ever.  Guys dress up as homicidal maniacs, and chicks dress up as really hot tramps.   Two, some restraining orders involving me, Sheena Easton and countless others inch closer to their expirations.  Three, I’ve got some new songs coming out soon, and one or two just might have a Halloween theme to them.

Stick around.  This month should be disastrous interesting.

Video Premiere: Monopolize

Posted in entertainment, humor, music, Video with tags , , , , , , , , on September 18, 2008 by Harfax Johnson

This is my parody of Timbaland’s “Apologize,” featuring OneRepublic.  I’m sorry if you don’t like it.

Also, the answers to the name quiz are now at the bottom of that post.

“Monopolize”

Video Premiere: Herpes #1

Posted in entertainment, humor, music, Video with tags , , , , , , , , on September 18, 2008 by Harfax Johnson

This is my parody of REO Speedwagon’s “Take It On The Run.”  Better “catch” it while you can.

“Herpes #1”

Music Biz Star Or Adult Entertainment Star??? You Make the Call

Posted in entertainment, humor, movies, music with tags , , , , , on September 17, 2008 by Harfax Johnson

What’s in a name?  My name is a bit unusual awful, and I’m often asked about it.  (I don’t usually answer, but I am asked.  If you feel a need to discover its origin, it’s in my bio.)  If you know anything about the entertainment world, then you are aware that the music biz and the adult film biz have intersected a time or two (certain rock stars, for example, have been known to kanoodle with adult stars).  With that in mind, it’s time for a name quiz.

Read each name and decide if that person is A) A musical performer or B) An adult entertainment performer.

The answers will be posted in a couple of days.  Good luck.  I guess you can be a complete tool if you want and just look them all up on the internet, but since there is absolutely jack squat for a prize, where’s the need or the fun in doing that?  Post your guesses, if you are brave enough.

We’ll start off easy…

1.  Britney Spears

2.  Randy Spears

3.  Natalia Wood

4.  Ron Wood

5.  Nikki Sixx

6.  Sikki Nixx

7.  Pink

8.  Jani Lane

9.  Chasey Lain

10. Joey Ramone

11. Dale DaBone

12. Nacho Vidal

13. Nikki Nova

14. Heather Nova

15. Joan Jett

16. Veronica Jett

17. Shy Love

18. Courtney Love

19. Donna Summer

20. Kristal Summers

21. Shirley Manson

22. Brad Paisley

23. Paisley Hunter

24. Lacey Duvalle

25. Lacey Mosley

26. Janet Jackson

27. Janet Jacme

28. Billie Jo Armstrong

29. Brad Armstrong

30. Hayley Lynn

31. Hayley Williams

32. Jasmine St. Claire

33. David St. Hubbins

Answers:

1. A

2. B

3. B

4. A (ROLLING STONES)

5. A (MOTLEY CRUE

6. B

7. A

8. A

9. B

10. A (THE RAMONES)

11. B

12. B

13. B

14. A

15. A

16. B

17. B

18. A

19. A

20. B

21. A (GARBAGE)

22. A

23. B

24. B

25. A (FLYLEAF)

26. A

27. B

28. A (GREEN DAY)

29. B

30. B

31. A (PARAMORE)

32. B

33. A (SPINAL TAP)

Would You Record Music in a Haunted House??? (I Would, You Pansy)

Posted in entertainment, humor, life, music, photos, travel with tags , , , , , , , , on September 16, 2008 by Harfax Johnson

I’m weird, and I love to record music.  This combination has me in the mood to record in some unconventional places.  Below are the next five I want to try.  I think the sound could be interesting and ass-kicking.

1.  Inside one of those gargantuan water towers.  It’s imperative that it be exactly 1/3 full of water (or preferably cherry Kool-Aid).  This would be the first time in my life that I would record while wearing a life-jacket (though I did nearly drown while recording a song once…that story is for another time).

Looks like a freaking blast

Looks like a freaking blast

2.  Inside an elephant’s stomach.  Don’t worry, I’m an animal lover.  However, I’d love to find the right opportunity to record a quick song some time when a pachyderm is scheduled for stomach surgery.  I’d pop my head and a minimal amount of sterile recording equipment in and just let it rip.  I dream of the sound that would produce.

3.  In an island cave. My intense fear of bats (one actually flew into me one time, leaving me with a nose bleed) is the major hindrance here.  I’m currently in psychotherapy to overcome it just so I can record a song in a location not unlike the one below.  (We’re not getting very far, though, as my therapist seems obsessed with my sex dreams.)

Yuck, imagine the bat dung

Yuck, imagine the bat dung

4.  From inside a UFO.  I don’t care if it’s from space or a secret government aircraft or a weather balloon.  I just want to sing inside something that is freaking someone out on the ground.

5.  From inside a haunted house (like the one below in the Smoky Mountains, courtesy of this site). I want to be the first to have ghostly backing vocals in my music, ala EVPs.  That would be sweeter than I could ever put into words.

I just peed my pants

I just peed my pants

I’m always interested in strange places to record.  Leave your ideas here.  Peace.  (Coming soon:  My next music video called Herpes # 1.)

Video Premiere: Even My Poop Smells Better

Posted in entertainment, humor, music, Video with tags , , , , , , , on September 16, 2008 by Harfax Johnson

This is my parody of Air Supply’s song “Even The Nights Are Better.”  Prepare for a “load” of laughs.

“Even My Poop Smells Better”

Video Premiere: I Kissed An Earl

Posted in entertainment, humor, music, Video with tags , , , , , , , , on September 16, 2008 by Harfax Johnson

This is my parody of Katy Perry’s song “I Kissed A Girl” (and you’ll like it).

“I Kissed An Earl”